My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
