The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
