you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
