I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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