I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
