Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
