david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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