just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
