the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
