I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
