i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
