The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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