so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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