What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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