I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's blow job season.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
