Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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