I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
