Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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