pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
you never un-have a 4some
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
