Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
