last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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