Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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