I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
