Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
