Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I FOUND THE LEGS
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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