Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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