I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
