I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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