Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
