i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize