You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
