i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
