So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
