so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She bit a glass in half.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
