i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
