Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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