if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
