why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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