Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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