OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
