you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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