marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
