his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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