Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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