I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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