Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
