I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
