coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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