i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
