Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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