so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
