please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
