PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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