I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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