Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
