My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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