just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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