I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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