ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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