im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
