I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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