You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
