I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
