C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
