so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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