What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
