Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
