theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
