whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
