he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
