Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
